Sunflowers
by LePetitPappillon
Summary: Love story between Russia and China. Starts out a little slow, but picks up at Ch.3
1. Chapter 1

Ivan stared out the window, the frost gathering heavily on the glass, making it difficult to see outside. A shiver ran down his spine. It would be another frigid day to add to the easily growing collection. Perhaps a good day to build a snowman…

He moved to the bathroom, looking into the foggy mirror, granting himself an odd looking grin. His lips bunched together at the right side of his mouth, making the smile uneven. One of his hands searched through the drawer below him, removing a comb. Slowly and precisely, he brushed through his fair locks, hair falling before his eyes. He would have to cut it soon…

His eyes drifted to the picture of Yao he had posted to the corner of the mirror. A single piece of yellowing scotch tape held it in place, and the picture itself was quite old. It was in black and white with the Chinese man smiling in the center. Seeing his face made Ivan's lips curl at the edges. It had been a few days since he had written to him…Maybe he didn't receive the last letter.

Ivan put on his normal clothing, feeling slightly warmer now that his skin wasn't bare. As soon as he was finished dressing, he searched for an empty sheet of paper and pen, finally finding both in an old letter box under his bed. The parchment was collecting dust, but it didn't matter. It was blank. Before he could even sit down, he began etching down a message. Although he rarely spoke, he seemed to have a lot to say.

He blew on the dampening ink and folded it as neatly as his fingers would allow. The letter was stuffed into an envelope, and as soon as it was sealed, Ivan began printing Yao's address on the front, being so careful with the strokes of his pen. He couldn't loose this one.

The envelope was tucked securely into his coat pocket, and he made his way into town, wanting nothing but to get to the post office. When he arrived, there was a long trail of boot prints behind him. He was gasping in air, his chest heaving under a heavy overcoat. The door opened.

"Ivan! You're here early…"

The large man lifted a finger, his cheeks too red to conjure up words.

The other laughed. "It's fine, its fine. I know what you're here for…"

Ivan nodded, handing him the highly cared for letter, which was taken with just as much precaution.

"Ah, another one to China…"

Again, he bobbled his head and removed a small satchel from his pant's pocket, slipping it open and taking a few coins out. They found their way easily into the opposite's gloved palm.

"It's expensive to mail things out there…Who are you talking to?"

"My-friend…" He was regaining his breath.

"Oh, well, that's good to hear." The money was examined. "You're just a little short…"

"Oh-! Uh…" The pouch had been drained, so he searched his pockets for a few spare coins. His efforts provided nothing.

"It's alright. You've sent enough of these things to buy me a house…I've got it."

"Thank you!"

"No prob! Have a nice day." The man turned.

"Oh, wait…Is there some way you can make sure it gets to the right place?"

"Well, there's no guarantees, but I can tell you that they usually get to the correct address…Out of all the letters that are delivered only a few are lost…Don't worry about it…Did you get everything right? No spelling mistakes or anything?" He was looking at Ivan's writing on the front of the envelope.

"Well…I always make sure I get it right…"

"Then you have nothing to worry about. Have a nice day, Ivan."

"Thank you…"

The door was closed before him.

On his way home, his gaze was directed at his empty savings. The pouch was useless now. This would be the last letter he would send for a while. For a moment, he prayed, hoping this would be the letter Yao answered back. Even if it was only a few words, just as long as there was some sort of reply…Just something…

Ivan returned, deciding not to go inside. Instead, he packed snow together, preparing the base for yet another snow man. His entire yard was littered with them. Soldiers of heavy powder standing before his home, ready for orders they would never receive. Among all of these frozen men was a single tree that provided them all with arms.

He enjoyed building them. It made him feel less lonely, as if one day he would have someone to show all of these fake people to. They didn't have much for decoration. Some of them didn't even have noses, but still, he was proud to have them.

When the snow man was near completion, he went into his home, taking a bottle of vodka from the pantry and removing the cork. He abandoned the alcohol in the kitchen and rushed out, shoving the bottle's tip into the center of the powered man's face. He used his thumb to make two indents for eyes, a finger drawing in a semicircle for a mouth. Ivan stepped back, admiring the newest addition to the family. For a moment, he smiled and turned away, drawn into his home to sit by the fire…

Yes, another day…


	2. Chapter 2

Ivan woke up that morning, feeling somewhat sore. He hadn't done anything strenuous the previous day, but for whatever reason, his back was aching. He managed to rise from the sheets covering his mostly nude body and glanced out the window, his forehead resting on the cool glass. A new bath of snow was fresh upon the ground, all the snowmen having odd growths coming from their heads. He looked as long as he could before becoming too cold to continue and then went back to his mundane daily routine.

It had been three days since he had banished message, and three days since he had relinquished his spending money. By now, usually, he would have another note ready, and he could go to the post office, but there was no point in writing a letter if you couldn't send it…For a moment, he felt angry. As if money was the only thing that really sent a letter…Why couldn't he simply utilize a stamp? Everyone was able to use stamps. Was it simply because he was in China? Ridiculous. The two countries were touching…

He released his anger with a sigh and found a stale loaf of bread to chew on. It possessed the texture of a stone, but Ivan didn't complain. Food was food.

With the bread, he walked into his living room, which was the first room one would come into when entering his house. Ivan placed himself on the couch, which was old and tattered. The rich red color it once had faded into a pathetic dark pink, and had a permanent intent from where his bottom was continuously put. The television was turned on, and Ivan smiled slightly. His favorite game show was playing. The screen was somewhat hazy, and the antenna was bent, but everything still worked. And again, Ivan didn't complain.

For a moment, his eyes caught the painting of a sunflower hanging above his television set. It was the only bright thing in his entire home. How professional the brush strokes were…It was perfect.

But he was distracted by the loud cry of the audience and went back to watching the black and white screen.

When his show was over, he retreated to his bedroom, sitting on the ruined sheets and reaching for a drawer connected to his night stand. Inside, there was a plethora of sunflower seeds. None of them were bagged or organized in any sort. Just seeds.

Ivan reached into his pocket and pulled out the satchel once used for money. He dipped it into the ocean of seeds, and filling until it was ready to burst. A few of them were drained out, and then the sack was shut with the two strings residing at the top.

There. Now it was useful again.

His gaze once again went outside, still difficult to see through the foggy glass of the window. Snow was falling. Ivan stood and pushed open the window, a chilly breeze finding its way into his room and sending a deep cold through him. He shivered before adjusting and then looked at the ground. There was no visible soil or even a shred of green, only untouched white. He left the view, opening the second drawer of the nightstand. Inside was a small spade with an old handle. Amazingly, the metal was nearly perfect, and if it weren't for the rotting wood, one would think it was newly made. Ivan removed it, closing the window and going outside.

For a moment, he began to think it was insane to try and plant anything in winter, especially in a place with constant snow, but then decided it didn't matter. Even in spring, his garden was too stubborn to bloom.

He placed himself before the front of his home, his knees pressing into the wet powder. He used the spade as a scoop, removing a heavy layer of snow, only to see more white. Was it that thick? The tool went in, digging up more slush, but still, there was no earth. Ivan began to feel as if the snow was mocking him. How could there be this amount? It took four scoops before the dirt was the surface.

Ivan removed the satchel from his coat pocket and opened it, taking out a single seed then keeping it cozy inside his glove. His other hand poked a steep hole in the center of the exposed soil and after a moment of careful inspection, the seed fell in, being covered up.

"Grow up tall, okay?" He said, moving to the spot next to that one. His knees were already sinking into the snow…

When he was finally done, there were soil colored holes all around his little home, all of them filled with potential sunflowers and a few kind words. The sun was descending, falling behind the horizon. And as the moon made its way above the snowy plain, the sky filled with hues of lavender and rose…

Ivan stood, looking at the sky, and then to his own kneecaps, which were wet and irritated. His shins were drenched as well; the only thing not bothered being his feet, which were protected by leather boots. He released a sigh, scratching at them and walking up a few steps into his house.

Ivan went to his room, pulling them off his trousers after his foot wear and then looking at his bed. It was late…There was nothing on, and there was no one to keep him up. His coat went off and then finally his top. Ivan's bare back touched the bed's sheets and his eyes closed.

Maybe Yao would send him a letter one day…That would be nice.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a loud banging on the door.

Ivan had fallen asleep on the couch shortly after waking up. He was feeling somewhat depressed, so he tried to sleep off the loneliness, but the knocking was persistent.

"Ivan, open this door!"

The large man did as he was asked, revealing a red-cheeked Yao with a box heavy with unopened letters. His teeth were chattering. Bits of snow were cluttered onto his thin black coat and frost latched onto his face. He didn't look pleased.

"Stop sending me your damn letters!" The box was shoved into his arms. "I don't want them! Don't you have any thing better to do than bother me?!"

There was a silence. The Russian's heart felt as if it had been stabbed through with an ice pick. "Yao…"

"I get one of these things almost every day! Do you not understand?! I don't like you! I don't want to be your friend and I don't want to read your letters! So stop it because you're wasting your time!"

Ivan opened his mouth to speak, but there was nothing capable of coming out. He was in utter shock.

"If you have something to say, you should say it! I'm not going to stay here and freeze to death!"

A sob escaped his open lips and the box dropped to his feet, its contents spilling on the steps and into the snow. His mouth was covered by two gloved palms and his eyes shut, becoming hot with tears.

All of the money he had spent on sending letters to him…wasted. All of them were here, getting soaked in snow and turning more useless. His spending money was gone. He could barely buy food. There was a year's worth of messages scattered through out the snow, all of them ignored…He could have bought vodka, or a better television, or even another painting of sunflowers, but instead he gave all of it to Yao, who was standing before him angry because he simply wanted someone to talk to. Simply because he liked someone…

Ivan dropped to his knees, sobbing into his hands with tears becoming stuck in his fair lashes. He didn't know if Yao was still there. He didn't really care. Sorrow over took him as if it was the plague…

"H-hey…You're not supposed to do that…" The Chinese man said, his voice quivering a bit. "…Ivan?"

There wasn't a response.

"…Uh…Are you okay?"

Still, there were only shallow sobs.

"…I'm going to pick these up…okay?"

The smaller man turned around, taking a few of the envelopes into safety and putting them back into the container, which was slightly soggy from coming into contact with the snow. Yao gathered them all, the notes joining each other inside the box. He glanced around, seeing they had all been confined into one place.

Yao's eyes looked at the plethora of letters, suddenly feeling incredibly bad. He couldn't leave now…He couldn't even give them back as he was planning to…

"…Hey, Ivan…Why don't we go inside…?" He asked, feeling as if he was going to freeze over. "…You can tell me what's wrong when you calm down…okay?"

The Russian wiped his eyes, standing up and then entering his home. He didn't seem to acknowledge the other, but he did leave the door open. Yao followed him, looking down at the contents of the container still in his hands. Guilt started to set in, especially since he had reduced to him this state.

Ivan sat on his old and beaten couch, feeling a pang of anger. He could have at least opened one…Just one. But they were all here, the same as when he sent them.

Yao glanced around his house, his eyes moving from Ivan, to the couch he was placed on, the television and then to the painting. What a sad place to live in…Everything seemed to be less of what it once was…He shut the door and looked for a place to sit, not wanting to take the spot adjacent to Ivan.

"…Do you mind if I get a chair from the kitchen?" Yao asked.

The Russian nodded, still erasing tears with a heavy sleeve. His finger pointed to another hallway, too distressed to use words.

"Thank you…"

He returned with a stool and sat down across from him at a fair distance. It seemed he hadn't calmed down yet…To pass the time Yao took a letter from the bottom of the container and broke the seal with his thumb. The contents were pulled out and the shell was given to the floor. He made a note to pick it up later.

His fingers unfolded the neat creases Ivan had made and he looked at the parchment, impressed. It was very nice. The letters were written in deep black ink and a border of golden leaves resided around the outside. The paper itself was thick and seemed like it would cost a generous sum. The note itself was short. It was an invitation to a party he had thrown months ago. A little more guilt found its way in.

Yao selected another letter, putting the invitation into his lap. Again, the empty torn envelope was dropped to floor after it was broken. The Chinese man read this edition, which was plainer than the last. It was simply an update with Ivan telling him what was going on in his life. It didn't take up much space.

The one on the couch was finally calming down.

"…I'm really sorry I didn't read them…" He said, his heart changing a bit after seeing the state of his home. "…I won't ignore them anymore…if you even want to send them to me…Did you send anyone else letters?"

"…No…Not really…"

"Oh…"

Yao's gaze was again drawn to the box. It was growing heavy in his lap. All of these were for him…He was the only one Ivan wanted to talk to, and yet he came here and shoved it right back into his hands…

"…Well…" He found his words to be lost. "…I'm sorry…"

"It's okay…" Ivan said, wiping his face.

Yao bit in his lip and pulled out another letter, having the compulsion to read them all. There was silence as his eyes went over the pages.

"…Please say something…Just something…Anything…" The quiet was eating away at the Chinese man, making him feel an even more remorseful.

"…Oh…Uh…Hello…"

"Hello." There was a long gaping pause. "…Do you get many visitors?"

"…No…"

"Oh…You're lonely here…Aren't you?"

He nodded; something looking like it was bothering him. "…Yao…Did you really mean what you said? Because…It's okay if you did…I've gotten used to not many people liking me…You don't have to stay if you don't want to…" Ivan's eyes were forming droplets of water and it seemed as if he hadn't gotten rid of all his emotions yet…

"…No…I didn't. You're…alright…" His brain wracked itself for an excuse. "…I was just trying to get you to stop writing me letters…I guess…" There weren't any good ones.

"…Oh…"

"…I'm going to read these…So…don't worry about it…I won't go until I do…"

"…Really?"

"Yeah! I'll keep them too!"

"Thank you…" A few tears were taken from his cheek.

Yao finished the letter he was reading and selected another, and another, and another. As each hour passed, his eyes became a little drowsier, but he didn't stop. He felt as if he was drowning in guilt. Most of these messages were Ivan trying so desperately to have a conversation…No propositions of unions or anything mildly threatening…Just the kind of words you would give to a friend…

"…You don't have to read them all right now…" The silence was broken. They were both placed in the exact same location. "…Do you want something to eat? It was a long trip here, wasn't it?"

"Oh…yeah, but you don't have to feed me or anything…"

The Russian man gave him a little smile. "It's alright. You're a guest…I'm supposed to feed you…I'll go make some soup…You can watch the TV if you want to…"

"Oh…Thanks."

Ivan nodded and went into the kitchen, wanting to cry once more, but this time it was of the essence of happiness. Even if he didn't come for the reason of being with him, he was still there. He was right in the other room, reading all of the letters. He had someone to talk to…Finally…

A few minutes later, Ivan came out with a single bowl of soup, all he could have made with the ingredients he had.

"Where's yours?" Yao asked, looking at the large cup in his hands. The broth was incredibly thin and the only thing in the soup was a few noodles and very few carrots. There was no meat, and what liquid there was only filled up about half of the bowl…

"…There wasn't anymore…"

"…You have to eat something…Look at how big you are…and look at how little I am…" Yao's eyes searched him a moment. "…You're not skinny under that coat…are you?"

"No. Not at all…" Ivan smiled. "You should eat this before it gets cold…It does that fast…"

"…We can share…" He moved to the couch, sitting on the side that had no indent. "…Go get another spoon or I'm not eating any…"

"Thank you…"

The larger of the two returned with two spoons, both of which had rust at the handles, but still functioned. One of them was handed to Yao, who was given the responsibility of the bowl.

The first to eat was the Chinese man, whose spoon was full of watery broth. He put it into his mouth with indifference. It wouldn't matter if it was brimming with meat and all types of ingredients. He pretended not to notice it was near empty…But looking at the innards of the bowl made him feel even more regretful.

They ate together, watching a program on the television. Usually, Ivan would be in bed at this time, but now that he had someone there, he had a reason to be awake. His eyes focused on the black and white screen, feeling ecstatic he finally had a visitor, and someone to even share a meal with. He was tempted to keep moving his gaze towards his companion, but resisted, wanting to make him as comfortable as he possibly could.

Yao yawned, wiping his eyes with a long sleeve. "Oh…It's really late…" His ink colored eyes acknowledged the letters waiting patiently in the box, most of them having been opened. He hadn't forgotten his promise.

"…You don't have to read them here…You can go if you want to."

For a moment, the Chinese man had a conflict internally, unsure if he should leave. "I might not have a choice…"

"…Well, it's alright…I understand. You probably weren't planning to stay all day…"

"Thank you…I'm going to read them, and when I do I'll send you a letter back…"

Ivan nodded, watching as the man picked up the letter box, most of the notes without envelopes. Joy and melancholy hit at the same rate. When Yao did send a letter, he wouldn't be able to make a reply…

The door was opened, and for a long moment, he stood there, his bottom lip sagging. It was hailing with no mercy. He would step outside and be lost amongst the snowmen, perhaps even become one…

"…Wow…" Ivan came behind him, his thoughts mirroring the shorter one's. "…You can't go out in that…"

"…Should I close the door then?" His teeth were back to knocking against each other.

"Yes…you should…"

"Thank you…" The door was shut with little ease. "…Well, it seems like I'll get to read your letters here after all…Unless you're going to kick me out."

"…No. I won't kick you out…You can stay here until the storm clears up…"

"Thank you…" Out of Yao's mouth came a sigh of relief. "…Well, where would you like me to sleep? The closet, the bathroom?" He smiled.

"Oh here…I'll show you…" Ivan led him to his own bedroom, the door softly creaking open. He had made his bed that day, and the room looked generally unused because of how little he had inside it. The walls were mostly bare, and it was truly an uninteresting place to live.

"I didn't know you had a guest room…"

"Well, I suppose you could call it that…" Ivan put on the most convincing smile he could muster and then glanced at the bed. There wasn't any other. "…Would you like to sleep?"

"Well…Yes…If that's alright…" A lengthily yawn found its way from Yao's lips and he wiped his eyes with a sleeve. "…I'm sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry for…" Ivan's lips formed an odd looking grin, all of the emphasis focused on one side of his mouth. "…Good night. I hope it's not too cold…If you need any extra blankets, there are some in that closet…"

"Thank you…good night…"

The Russian retreated to the couch, his head pressed to the intent. His legs hung over the side of the little couch, and he was fully clothed, the air being too nippy to take anything away from his flesh…And yet, he was happy. A few tears made a path from his eyes to his lips. He tried with much strain to be silent, so he wouldn't disturb his guest.

And for a moment, he entertained the thought that this could all be a dream…It had happened so many times before in his sleep…

No…This was finally it…It was too good to be unreal…


	4. Chapter 4

Ivan woke up to a heavy chill. His whole body shivered violently when it had its frigid grasp around him.

The door was closed and Yao was standing before it, holding a large brown paper bag brimming with groceries. He was wearing the same thin coat as yesterday, and was affected by the cold. His hair even looked to be frozen.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?" His teeth chattered together.

The larger of the two angled himself into a sitting position and pretended not to hear the other's question. There was a moment occupied by shivering of both parties, and again, more words.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?" Yao demanded again.

"…I didn't want you to…"

The Chinese man sighed. "…Well, here…I bought these for you. You're going to starve to death with the food you have…You can't live on vodka…"

"You didn't have to do that…"

"Well I did." The groceries switched custody and Ivan's eyes caught the contents of the bag. There was a lot in there.

"Thank you…"

"Hey…Don't look so unhappy." Yao came a little closer, already near him as his quick hands grasping the scarf hanging on loosely to Ivan's neck. The Russian's heart beat accelerated, blood rushing into his cheeks. His hands were working quickly, but Ivan wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish.

"There!"

Under Ivan's chin was a large and rather obnoxious bow. His fingers touched it gently, afraid of unraveling it.

"Now you'll look stupid if you frown. So don't."

"Thank you." Ivan's lips stretched at the edges, feeling somewhat ridiculous, but happy.

"Good. Now eat something." Yao put himself in the seat next to Ivan and pulled out a loaf of bread, his fingers pressing into its soft center and tearing it into two almost even pieces. One of them was handed to Ivan. "I'm going to have this, okay? Everything else is yours."

"Thank you…Umm…How much did this cost?"

"None of your business!" The bread was torn savagely by two rows of teeth. "You're not going to pay me back." His mouth was full, and he began to chew a little more softly, seeming to take in the flavor. "…This is pretty good…"

Ivan's smile grew. He wanted to laugh, but he kept it inside, taking a bite himself. This bread didn't have the texture of a stone, or stale taste…It was wonderful. The Russian's stomach suddenly felt barren. As if he didn't realize he was starving before...

The television was turned on, and they repeated the actions of the pervious night, watching and eating…Ivan caught Yao stealing a few glances at him, and whenever he did, he granted him a small grin.

Eventually, the bread between their fingers was gone, and Ivan realized his guest would have to depart soon. It was no longer snowing intensely, and it would be an opportune time for one to leave. Yao seemed to have the same thoughts. He looked back at the door, his eyes brows knitting together.

"…It's okay…You can go…" The Russian said.

"…Really?"

Ivan nodded, feeling a bit sad that his guest was leaving, but it would be unfair to keep him. He wasn't planning to stay the night or even for breakfast…

"Thank you…I really have to get home…" Again, the box of letters was gathered into his hands and he approached the door, looking back to Ivan. He still felt guilty, and didn't want to put him back into solitude. "…I'm going to send you a letter once I read all of these…" Yao told him for the second time. "…I'm sorry about yesterday…"

"…It's alright…Thank you for staying…"

He nodded and opened the door, placing one foot on the icy steps.

"Wait…"

"Hmm?" The Chinese man turned, looking at him, truly not wanting to leave the warmth of the house.

"…Umm…Will you come back…Maybe…" The larger man's voice was growing softer as if he was asking for a large grant of money. "…I mean…If you want to…I guess…"

"…Yeah, I'll come back." He answered.

"Thank you…"

Yao couldn't help but smile. He looked so ridiculous with that bow, and the fact his cheeks were turning bright just made him look cute. "…Alright, well I'll see you later…Make sure you eat enough, okay?"

"Okay...I will."

Yao walked outside, the door shutting loudly behind him. The only noises now were the television and the ruffling of the brown paper bag. Ivan pulled out another loaf of bread and took a bite, the mixed feeling of happy and sad coming back at the same time. He finally had someone to consider a friend, and it was none other than Yao, the man he had a desire to talk to the entire time. What little anger he felt faded away, already dreaming of the next visit…

A few droplets of salty water fell onto the bread, and Ivan smiled, the happiest he had been in what seemed to be a very long year.


	5. Chapter 5

Seven days after Yao had left, there was a knock at the door, and when Ivan hesitated to answer it, a thick envelope was stuffed through the space above the latch. Half of it was exposed to the icy breeze, the other the comfort of his house. Instant excitement filled him up to the brim. He had been waiting with much anticipation for this day, and before anything else could possibly lay a finger on his letter, he tore it from its place in the door. There was a skid mark left from where he pulled it out, but he didn't care. The contents inside were unharmed. His thumb ripped the seal open, and his fingers forced out its innards, immediately reading it over.

It was a surprising piece of writing to say the least…There was no greeting or anything of the sort. The beginning was in complete panic, and was referring to a near suicide note Ivan had written months ago.

Of course, he regretted sending it. At the time, he was close to pulling to the trigger of the gun pressing to his temples…and with no one to talk to…Well; he figured it would be a good time to write to Yao…The purpose of the message was to get all of his emotion out before he really did have his brains decorating the floor…and it helped, but he shouldn't have sent it…After all this time, he had honestly forgotten about that incident…

The letter was four pages long, full of apologies for ignoring him, and reasons why it's better not to kill yourself, some of them actually being laughable. Such as, "Someone will have to clean it up" and "It's bad for your health." Ivan wasn't sure if he was serious, but if he was it would be even funnier if he was.

As the Russian looked for a piece of parchment to write his reply on, he felt somewhat sad he wouldn't be able to send it. He might be able to shake down his couch for enough, but he doubted it…And Yao sounded so worried…What a terrible place to leave off.

Ivan found a piece of parchment, the texture close to that of wax. And again, before even standing up, he composed his reply, reassuring his new pen pal that everything was fine and he had no intentions of killing himself. He told him that things were getting better for him, and there was no need to worry. His response inhabited both sides with little text, and before folding it, he waited for it to dry. Some of the letters already had smeared…He would have been better off using a napkin.

Once the letter was folded, he put it into an old envelope he found under his bed. It was covered with dust, but like most things in his creaky little home, it could still be put to use. He licked the seal and wrote on his address, tucking it into his coat pocket. Ivan found himself sighing.

He made his way out to the living room, sitting on his knees before the couch and placing his hand between the cushions, trying to uncover a few coins. Nothing. He checked the other side. Nothing. And the opposite side. And yet…nothing. But he did manage to find a hard candy. A conciliation prize…

Ivan was only able to accept the fact that he couldn't send his message to Yao…

Three days passed and early the next morning there was another set of persistent knocks at his door.

"Ivan! Ivan!"

He opened it, having somewhat of a difficult time, considering he was still sluggish and half asleep.

"Ivan! Don't kill yourself! Suicide is for cowards and the Japanese! And if you did, it would be completely my fault! So don't do it, okay?!" The shorter man was out of breath.

"Oh, Yao…" He felt a little more awake. Out of impulse, he took the Chinese man into his arms and closed his eyes. "I'm not going to kill myself…That was months ago…"

"I know!" Surprisingly enough, Ivan was given an embrace in return. "…I know…But it would have been my fault…and I couldn't live with that…" Yao held on just a little tighter, his face burying itself in Ivan's coat. "…So don't…it's not worth it." The last bit was slightly muffled.

"…I know…Umm…You don't have to hug me anymore if you don't want to…"

"…But…you're so warm…and it's so cold…What's wrong with your weather?"

"I'm not really sure…Why don't you come in? It's even warmer in here…"

"Okay…" He let go, walking into Ivan's home and wrapping his arms around himself. The door was shut, and Yao released a loud sigh of relief.

"Would you like to have something to eat?" Ivan asked. "I was about to have breakfast…"

"Oh, no…I'm okay…Have you been eating?" The Chinese man looked at him with a bit of intensity.

Ivan nodded. "Yes, I have…I just bought a few groceries the other day…"

"Good…" Yao sat on his side of Ivan's couch and shivered. It seemed like he was part of his home already. "Go get something to eat…We can watch TV together."

The Russian found himself smiling.

Ivan took one of the last loaves of bread from his pantry, his lips contorting into a strange shape as they always did when he had a thought in his head. He would really need to buy a few more groceries than this, but he didn't have the money yet…He hoped he wouldn't upset Yao. He was bound to see the dwindling amount of food he had stowed away…

Ivan returned to his companion, who was sitting with his knees tucked closely to him. He was picking at his lip as he watched the screen, seeming to be fascinated. The Russian took his place and politely broke the bread into two halves; holding is hand out to Yao.

"Oh, what? No…It's okay."

"…Oh…Well alright. Tell me if you change your mind." Ivan placed the bread into his lap and ate the piece that was destined for him. He focused on the television as well, a show on he hadn't seen yet.

"…Wait…I'll have a little bit…" Yao said, taking the other half and dividing it down the center. "Just this much. You're bigger than me so you need more."

"Thank you…" Ivan said, placing more nourishment into his mouth. He liked having Yao around.

When they were finished eating, Ivan looked at the man next to him. "…You know, you should get yourself a warmer coat…You'll freeze to death in that…"

"…Yeah, probably…" He lifted his sleeves, as if looking them over critically. "I kinda forgot on my way over here…"

"…Oh, you can borrow one of mine…I have an extra…"

"Really?"

Ivan gave a nod of his head and got up from the couch. "I'll go get it for you…"

The Russian accessed his closet and took from it another coat that mirrored his, the only thing missing being the metal he pinned on. Ivan brought it back and handed it to Yao, who took it through long sleeves.

"Thanks…This is kinda heavy…"

The opposite nodded. "It'll keep you really warm…"

Yao put the overcoat onto the couch and removed his own, a bright red tunic revealing itself. A violent shiver passed through him as he quickly took up the replacement and slipped it over his shoulders.

The coat was very large around him, the bottom stopping just before his feet. The sleeves were too long, but that wasn't much of an adjustment. Yao moved his arms around then smiled. "This is really comfortable!"

Ivan's mouth matched his. "That's good."

The two hovered around the television for a few hours before Ivan had an idea.

"…Would you like to go for a walk?"

"But why…It's so cold out…"

"I know…But you have a better coat now…" For a moment, he felt as of he had made a mistake. He picked at his fingers, feeling unnecessarily nervous.

"Well, alright…" Yao glanced outside the frost bitten window, snow still descending easily form the sky. "…Where would we go…?"

"We could go into town…I mean if you want to…"

"Okay." Yao smiled, redirecting his attention to the Russian. "You can show me around."

Ivan and Yao stepped outside, standing at the door step a moment. The smaller one's eyes admired all the snow men dotting the yard, noticing how each one was somewhat unique. It was as if they were strange creatures in their own domain, one without grass or even a speck of soil. Only snow…

"Wow…I didn't know there were so many…"

"Oh well, there isn't much to do up here…" Ivan felt blood rushing into his face and a little bout of dizziness.

"Can I build one?"

"Of course!"

Yao smiled, finding his enthusiasm cute. "Okay. I'm going to put it over there." His finger tip found the direction of the tree. "Do you wanna help?"

"Oh…sure." He felt flattered he was being asked to build a snowman with someone. The blush grew even darker.

The two made their way out to the tree, looking somewhat ridiculous. Their group had one very eccentric man in an oversized coat, and the other a tall man with a rose colored face. They must have been in a collection because their uniforms matched almost perfectly.

Yao packed snow together through his long sleeves. Once the snow ball was big enough, his began rolling it in messy circles on the pure white ground, laughing. "This looks horrible…"

"…Umm…What do you want me to do?"

"You can make the next one. Just make it kinda small and we can work from there…"

"Oh, alright…"

Ivan did as he was told; beginning with a ball of pact snow, all while Yao rolled his all around the yard, the base becoming quite large. When both were finished, one was far too bloated and the other too measly.

"…Oh wow…I'm pretty bad at this…"

"No, you're not…" Ivan told him. "…I think you just made it too big…so…you should probably stop." He smiled.

"Ah, okay…" The snow man's base was given a position and the shorter one clapped his hands together, brushing the snow from his sleeves. "Alright! What's next?"

"…Nothing. Just wait over there." The Russian was working with the second part of the snowman, and didn't want Yao to complete the last, in fear it would have to be repeated. They were a good distance away.

"…Nothing?"

"Nothing!"

"I can't do nothing!"

"You're not! You're standing!"

"That doesn't count!"

"Okay…Just guard it from…assassins!"

"Assassins?"

"Yes!"

"Okay." Yao stood there, his arms crossed strictly and an almost mean (yet ridiculous) expression on his face. His lips were twisted under his nose, and he was squinting with far too much seriousness.

Ivan returned with the next level of rounded powder, and rolled it onto the base. He looked to Yao, who was still on duty, and pointing that ill-painted face towards him. Ivan touched his forehead with the tip of his finger and laughed when his expression stayed the same.

"Are the assassins gone yet?"

"Yes, they've all run away. You scared them off…"

"Good." Yao couldn't help but smile. "Well, what's the next part? The head, right?"

The Russian man nodded.

"Alright…You can do that…I'll put the face and arms on."

Again, an affirmative nod.

Finally, the head was placed on, and two uneven sticks were shoved into the poor creature's upper body. Yao had taken a few prickles from the tree and given him a set of whiskers. He gouged two eyes in, one being a little lower than the other and did the same for a nose. Then, gently, his finger traced in a cat like mouth, giving the confused mass of snow a satisfied grin. There was just as big of a grin on his own face, and a proud feeling, for some reason or another.

"Do you like it?" Yao asked Ivan, who was still caught up in awe.

"…It's…unlike anything I've seen before…" The other answered, not even sure of what his opinion should be.

"…So, is that good or bad?"

"…Umm…I suppose it's good…"

"…You suppose? It's horrible, isn't it?"

"No! It's not horrible…It's…original."

Again, the fabric wrapped around Ivan's neck was mutilated into an obnoxious bow. "Now you can't judge my snow man because you look even more ridiculous. Let's go in. I'm cold."

Ivan could only smile, completely alright with being ridiculous.


	6. Chapter 6

"Listen you! You are not sleeping on your little couch, okay? I'll do that. You have your bed. You're too tall to sleep there."

"But…Yao…You're my guest…"

"Which is exactly why you should tell me to sleep on the couch!"

"But…"

"Aiya!" Ivan was pushed onto the bed, instant blush filling his face.

"…But…"

"But nothing!"

They stared at each other an expansive moment, and finally the Russian spoke up. "…Well, you can have the spot next to me…That way you won't have to sleep on the couch, and I'll still be in bed…"

Yao sighed, unable to tell him no. the pink adorning his cheeks was simply impossible to refuse. "Yeah…Alright…" He removed the coat Ivan had let him borrow, his bright red tunic revealing itself. He stood there a moment, the fabric refusing to leave his shivering body. "Can I sleep in this?"

Ivan nodded, the same coat leaving him to reveal a clean white shirt and suspenders. Yao returned his gaze to his direction, in disbelief and something close to wonder.

"…What?"

"…Suspenders?"

"…Is there something wrong with suspenders?"

"No…I've never seen you without your coat…I didn't think anything was under there…"

Ivan was sliding the boots from his feet. "So, you thought I was a giant skeleton?"

"Of course not! That's ridiculous!" He smaller of the two submerged himself into an ocean of thick sheets, his shivers becoming less frequent. "…Giant skeleton…that's absurd…" Yao's back was acing the Russian, mildly shunning him as he wrapped himself even deeper into the sheets.

Ivan smiled, inhabiting the empty space beside him. A good percentage of his clothing was on the floor, but his undergarments remained.

There lied there a moment in silence, neither of them tired.

"…Ivan…Why didn't you answer my letter?"

"I did…But I couldn't send it to you…"

They were speaking softly.

"…Why?"

"It's kind of expensive to send letters to your house…"

"Oh…" Again, a strong pang of guilt ran through the Chinese man. "Ivan?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you upset with me?"

"No…Why would I be?"

"…It's nothing…Don't worry about it."

"Oh, alright…"

"…Ivan?"

"Yes?"

"…I'm sorry…"

"It's okay."

Another long silence commenced.

"Ivan?"

"…Yes?"

"…I'm really sorry…"

"Yao, it's really okay."

"I know, but I still feel bad…"

"It's fine…Really. You don't have to feel bad…"

"…Ivan?"

"Yao…"

"…Sorry. I'll be quiet…"

"Alright…"

The two went to sleep, the Russian's face containing a grin. He couldn't believe he had Yao in his bed…Even a month ago, he would have never suspected anything like this ever happening…

That morning, Ivan woke up alone, the sheets on the missing man's side made up neatly. He looked at the floor; all of his discarded clothes picked up and put at his feet in a perfect little pile. His toes pressed to the floor, still somewhat in a daze and he put on his coat, not wishing to get fully dressed.

Ivan moved to the living room, where he found Yao laughing at the television with a bag of groceries in one arm and a loaf of bread in the other's hand. The food had a few holes where he had bitten, and there was some in his mouth.

"Hello…" The palm of Ivan's hand rubbed gently past his eye.

"Oh, good morning! I bought you some breakfast…" The nourishment in his hand was given another decent hole, and the Chinese man smiled, chewing.

"You didn't have to do that…"

"I've seen enough people starve to death…Come sit with me. Have something to eat, okay?"

"…Alright…Thank you…"

Ivan took a seat with Yao, immediately having his hands filled with a loaf of bread.

"…Umm…How much did you spend?"

"None of your business! You'll never pay me back!"

"…Well…Do you like that coat?"

"…What are you saying?" Yao wiped his mouth with his sleeve, which was identical to Ivan's.

"…You can have it…if you want it…" His voice was becoming smaller, not wanting to anger his companion.

"…Really?"

Ivan nodded.

"…But…It's yours…"

"…It doesn't have to be…You can have it…"

"Thanks…I'll wear it when I come to see you…"

When Yao left, Ivan watched by the window, occasionally waving. He had given up his replacement overcoat, but he didn't care. He had made his friend happy, and he was happy himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Ivan had pinned the pages of the letter Yao had sent to his wall, using a few tacks he found in the dusty letter box. Some of them were golden, and others were quite plain, either way, the job was completed. He waited patiently for another message to adorn his room.

When the note arrived, it was again forced through the space between the door and the frame, this time flopping onto the floor like a fish longing water. The letter was adopted, taken in between gloved fingers and torn open by a single thumb.

This edition had less apologies and a lower percentage of worry. It was half the length of the last, but included a drawing of the Russian man. The lines were almost exact and just looking at it made his cheeks illuminate. More parchment was given up to his wall.

This time, he was finally able to send his letter, having been paid. A few days a week he would be called into his office and look over papers, but mostly he was left to build snow men and wait for a response from Yao.

Ivan composed his reply on a sheet of paper he had found amongst the pins in his letter box. He wanted to draw Yao in return, but when he tried, he only produced disappointment. So, the only thing sent to his companion was words.

Days later, he was called into work and found a hefty pile of papers welcoming him. They were placed right before his chair, almost mocking him. Ivan sighed. It would be a long day.

Hours commenced, a plethora of parchment signed and read over. Finally, Ivan was allowed to go home, a smaller group of papers in his arms.

It was snowing with little remorse, and the Russian was having a difficult time even finding the path to his home. When the door was finally in a snow blurred sight, he found a human like figure huddled up near it, shaking as if he was just beaten.

"Ivan! Where have you been?!" It was Yao with frost stuck to nearly every part of him. "I've been waiting for you all day! Where did you go?"

"Oh…I had to work…Are you okay?"

"No! My nose is going to fall off from frostbite and if you pinched a stand of my hair it would break!"

The door was opened and the Chinese man stood, going inside with no second thought.

"Aiya!" A string of angry Mandarin followed, sentences coming in stings that never seemed to end. As Yao had his fit, Ivan placed his papers on the table in his kitchen, sighing. He returned to find him in the same state.

"Yao! Yao!"

"What?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry…Please don't be angry…"

The shorter sighed, looking at the Russian's kind blue eyes and feeling unable to be so upset. "…It's okay…I'm alright now…It's not your fault…" There was another expulsion of air and Yao locked Ivan into his arms. "Don't worry about it…it's not like you kept me out on purpose…"

Ivan felt dizzy having Yao embracing him…His face and even his ears were bright red. Of course, the Russian gave up is arms in return and they stood there a long time.

"Umm…Yao…"

"Huh?"

"…It's nothing…"

"I know…but for whatever reason, you're really warm…Please don't let go of me…"

"Alright…"

"…Did you get my drawing?"

"Yes! It's hanging in my room! Thank you…I drew you too, but it turned out badly, so I threw it away…"

"That's okay…I would still want to see it…"

"Well, maybe next time…"

"Alright…I think I feel better now…" Yao let go, his feet directing his body towards the couch, his bottom finding its assigned place. His legs were pulled into his torso and a violent shiver running through his spine. "…Okay…No I don't…"

Ivan took a spot next to him, the smaller immediately sticking to him like a magnet to steel. He was kept there a moment before being spoken to.

"Do you mind this?" Yao asked, his ink colored eyes looking into his companion's. "If I'm annoying you, I'll stop…"

"No. I don't mind at all…" He loved it.

"Hmm…" Ivan's color bone was utilized as a pillow and Yao closed his eyes. "…I'm so tired…"

"Did you get up early?"

"Yeah…I wanted to get here at a good time…Kind of stupid isn't it?"

"…I'm really sorry…"

"It's okay…You didn't know I was coming…I can't even be mad…This is my own fault, isn't it?"

Ivan didn't have an answer; instead he admired the man using him as a pillow. He only wanted to run his hands through that silky black hair maybe even kiss his forehead and held him a little closer. Ivan placed his large hands at Yao's shoulder blades, knowing it was the only thing he could do without ruining the moment.

"…How did you get so tall?" The smaller of the two sounded like he was going to sleep.

"I'm not really sure…I guess I'm supposed to be tall…"

"…And why are you so blond? It's ridiculous…"

"I guess I'm supposed to be blond too…I'm sorry…"

Yao was quiet, his breathing slowing down.

"…I'm sorry if I scared you with my crazy Mandarin…" His voice was becoming so soft, Ivan had a hard time understanding.

"…It's alright…It wasn't so bad…"

Suddenly, Yao shivered violently and held onto the Russian pillow even tighter. Gently, Ivan's hands their way under his knees and he held onto his shoulders, lifting him.

"No, wait…What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to bed…"

"…Okay...Don't drop me."

"I won't…" The taller stood, causing his cargo to tighten his grip. They made their way down the hall, and finally into Ivan's chamber. Yao's back found the sheets and his shoes were gently being pulled off.

"No…I can do that myself…I'm not five…" Of course, he didn't fight, or even move.

"…I know you can…" His shoes found a place on the floorboards; both of them parallel one another. "But it's already taken care of…"

Yao was already getting into bed, seeming to let the entire thing go. He was still dressed in the coat Ivan had given him, and as soon as the covers surrounded him, he closed his eyes.

"…I'm really sorry…" He told Ivan. "It's stupid to go to someone's house and sleep as soon as you get there…I'll make it up to you tomorrow…"

"It's alright…I'm going to make dinner…Do you want me to wake you up?"

"…Okay…"

Soup was prepared in the hopes of warming up Yao. This time it had more ingredients, and there was even some left over. Two bowls were placed across form each other on the table, spoons marinating inside the liquid.

Ivan went back into his room, the Chinese man still sleeping. The sheets were rising and falling slowly with his stomach and he almost looked childish.

"Yao…" His body was gently shaken, and his eyes opened after a few seconds.

"…Hello…"

"Hello. Dinner is ready…"

"…Okay…Thank you…" Yao sat up, the covers falling from his body and his feet coming into contact with the floor. He found his shoes and slipped them on, wiping his eyes through a sleeve that had grown too long.

Ivan waited patiently for Yao to join him, and when they were side by side, they walked into the kitchen, taking their places.

"…This looks really good…" The shorter one was still intoxicated by sleep and had his eyes half open. His hands found the little silver spoon swimming in his soup and brought it to his lips.

"…I hope you like it…"

"…It's good…" A yawn escaped Yao's mouth. "I think it you could make this spicy…I mean, and still have it taste okay, you know? But it's fine…so…you don't have to change anything, if that's what you think I'm saying…"

"No, I understand…"

They sat in silence a moment, Yao bringing the bowl to his lips and drinking some of the broth. He set it down half empty and used his spoon to pick out the vegetables. He was eating as a homeless man would.

"Are you feeling better?"

"…Yeah, a little bit…I'm still kind of cold…" He wiped his eyes again with the fabric of his coat and then looked at the man sitting across from him. "…You're really nice for letting me sleep in your bed and then making me dinner…I must be a pain…Sorry…"

"It's alright…I'd probably feel the same if I was locked outside for a few hours…We can do something fun tomorrow…It's no big deal…"

"Thanks…"

When dinner was over, Yao looked even more exhausted than before.

"…You can go back to bed…It would be better for you to sleep than force yourself to stay awake…"

"Is that really okay? I feel horrible…I'm sorry, Ivan…My company sucks today…"

"Yes, it's alright…"

"Thank you…Good night…"

"Good night."

Ivan was left to sit on the couch and watch television. He felt somewhat guilty for locking Yao out for so long. Of course, he didn't do so intentionally, but he was somewhat responsible for his friend's condition…

When the Russian became sleepy enough, he returned to his room, taking a spot next to Yao, who was unable to be shaken. The entire time, his eyes remained closed, his mouth slightly agape. His breathing was deep and made a soft sound with each exhale. Ivan was buried under the same covers, and couldn't help but stare. Without even thinking, his lips pressed softly to Yao's smooth tanned cheek and lingered there a moment.

And as soon as he pulled away, he felt as if he had committed the worst crime possible. Luckily, the victim wasn't even stirred. Yao went on sleeping as if no one had even gotten into bed.

Ivan sighed. "…I'm sorry…"

There wasn't a response.


	8. Chapter 8

Ivan awoke to sound the sound of someone throwing up in the bathroom. Immediately, he sat up, checking the spot next to him, which was missing a body. He went to the restroom without knocking or giving a warning. And there was Yao, sick over the toilet bowl. His lips were messy with vomit and his eyes were red around the rims.

"Are you okay?" Ivan flew into an instant panic.

"No…I'm sick…" The contents of his stomach entered the water and his eyes closed as if he was about to lose consciousness.

"Do you want to go to the doctor?"

"No…I just want to lie down…"

Ivan walked to Yao and kneeled next to him, his hand resting gently against his back. "I'm so sorry…I feel like this is my fault…If you weren't outside for so long…" He trailed off. "…But I'm going to help you get better…"

"…It's not your fault…" Yao looked at him through exhausted eyes. "It's not…"

Ivan didn't say anything but met his gaze with bunched up lips.

"…Can I take a bath?"

"Of course…Would you be alright if I left?"

The Chinese man nodded.

"Alright. I'll be back soon."

Ivan rushed into the snow, a flurry bustling around him and frost stinging his eyes. Yet, he stepped forward, knowing he had to provide his friend with medicine. What money he had he would use to send him letters, but his health was more important.

Finally, he found his way into town, having to shield his eyes with a sleeve. The store he was looking for was close, luckily, and he had been there several times, so it wouldn't be difficult to locate.

His feet burst through the door and he stood facing an old couple, one with a broom and the other at the counter.

"…Hello. Can I help you?"

"My friend is sick…I think he has the flu…So, I need some medicine…"

"…Oh, well…" The woman was speaking. "Follow me this way…"

Ivan was led into an isle with many bottles filled with different elixirs. Some of them came in brown boxes while others offered the product as it would be used.

"…Do you have to buy medicine often?"

"Oh…no…What would you suggest?"

The old woman's long bony fingers reached for one of the boxed medicines, and handed it to Ivan, who looked it over.

"That should make it go away pretty quickly, if it's the flu…"

"Thank you…"

He paid for the little box, hoping it would be full of the cure Yao needed. It was hard to think that a bottle of liquid could fix something causing a person to vomit, but whatever it took…

As he opened the door to his home, he sighed. All of his spending money was once again exhausted. He hoped this concoction worked, because if it didn't, he wouldn't be able to replace it with something that would…If only vodka could cure this ailment…He had plenty of that…

Ivan went into his chamber, and knocked on the door to the bathroom, knowing Yao was probably soaking himself in warm water.

"Huh?" Was the weak reply from behind the door.

"Yao, can I come in? I have some medicine for you."

"…I'm naked, if you're alright with that…" There was a fit of coughs following after his response.

Ivan considered it a moment, deciding to open the porthole. He walked in silently, trying not to put his friend in more pain.

Yao's head was resting against the rim of the bathtub, his eyes half opened. He looked like he was struggling to stay awake. His lips softly pressed together, as if he was trying to say something, but the words he was spouting had no voice. Sticky hair decorated his face, and he looked like a creature close to death.

Having to see him this way made the Russian's poor heart nearly crack in half and shatter on the floor.

"…Hi…" He said.

"Hello…" Ivan wanted more to say, but there wasn't much he could come up with. Instead, his hands worked on the box, tearing it away from the supposed solution. He read the instructions on the back of the bottle, taking the cap from the neck and getting ready to pour the syrup into it. "…The woman at the store said this was the best one…if you have the flu, anyway…"

"…I think that's it…" Yao drifted out of consciousness and then back in. "…It seems like it…"

Ivan let the medicine flow into the cap and handed it to his friend, who took it with a weak hand and sat up, bringing it to his lips.

"…You're supposed to take two of these…" Ivan said. "…How is it?"

"It tastes terrible…Hit me up…" The cap was held out like a shot glass and Ivan gave him a little more medicine, having it immediately disappear.

The entire time, the Russian tried hard not to look at Yao's slender body. His skin was so incredibly smooth…and the color he held was lovely, even if he was sick…

The plastic shot glass was given back to Ivan, who secured it back onto the bottle, and rested that on the floor.

"It says that you can have another dose in six hours…"

"…Okay…" Yao went back to resting his head on the tub's lips, his eyes closing and then forcing themselves open again.

"…Do you think you're well enough to eat? I'll make you another batch of soup…"

"…No…Not yet…I'm not hungry…"

"…Do you want to get out yet?" Ivan asked, knowing he would probably have a difficult time freeing himself of the basin. He was too weak to even look at him.

For a moment, Yao seemed to sleep, his eyes shutting for a good minute and then opening. "…No…I won't make you do that…"

"…Okay...I'll check on you in about fifteen minutes…"

"…Alright…Thank you…"

The blond nodded, standing and turning for the door, his cheeks somewhat bright.

"…Ivan…"

"Yes?"

"…I'm really sorry…I said I would make it up to you, but…I can't…" The Chinese man's eyes closed for a lengthily moment, and before becoming unconscious again, he spoke. "…I'm sorry…"

"…It's alright…It's not like you wanted to be sick…I'll get you out of there soon…"

There was no response; the man simply closed his eyes, giving himself up to rest. His mouth opened slightly, taking in a bit of air and letting it go.

Ivan felt bad…The first time he saw him without clothing was when he didn't even have a choice…combined with the kiss from last night, he began to think he was cheating unintentionally… And he had almost caused this illness for leaving him outside to freeze.

But Ivan wanted nothing but to make him better…He couldn't stand seeing him in this condition…


	9. Chapter 9

Yao was kept in bed for an entire week, mostly just sleeping. He was finally to the point of holding down food and could move around without feeling weak, but remained under sheets.

Amazingly enough, Ivan hadn't grown tired of caring for him. He was relieved Yao was feeling better. It had been an expansive week, but not once had he complained. The Russian wasn't even worried about becoming sick himself, but more concerned with making his companion healthy.

A letter was sent to Yao's home explaining why he was gone for so long. Suspicions of abduction would arise, and as much as Ivan liked the Chinese man, he wouldn't do such a thing.

Near the end of the seven days, Yao was sitting up in bed with Ivan by his side. The two were conversing with one another and were interrupted by a sharp knocking on the door.

"…I'll get that…"

As the Russian approached the door, the banging only became needier. The knob was turned and the porthole was opened to an angry looking boy in thin white clothing.

"Where is my brother?"

Ivan stared at him a moment, noticing his features. He did resemble Yao in some way…but he hadn't seen him before. The man in his room never even mentioned having whoever this was as a brother.

"I know he's here! And I know you're holding him captive! You better let him go!"

"…I better let him go?" The Russian felt himself smiling. This child was far too worked up, and the fact he was threatening him was hilarious, considering the differences in their heights. Ivan towered over his accuser. "Or what?"

"Or I'll kick your ass! That's what!"

"Really? Alright. Go ahead." Ivan held out his hands, leaving everything completely exposed. "Please, I'll even let you have the first move."

The Russian's opponent threw a fist into his stomach, having barely any effect. As soon as he punched, Ivan punched back, copying him exactly, the difference being the power put behind his arm.

The boy fell to the floor, knees buckling. His eyes closed and didn't reopen.

"If you want to kick my ass, you should hit a little harder…" Ivan picked him up and took him into his room, where Yao was still sitting. The Chinese man took notice to the body in his arms, gasping.

"Aiya! What did you do to him?"

"He told me that if I didn't let you go he was going to kick my ass…So he hit me and I hit him back…"

"Well…He probably deserved it. Set him next to me."

Ivan did as he was asked and the corpse was put by Yao's side, the body's eyes opening.

"…Eugh…"

"What's wrong with you?!" The boy was slapped on the shoulder. "Sit up!"

Yao's little brother followed orders, seeming to still be somewhat unconscious. As soon as his back was against the head board, the Chinese man smacked him square in the mouth.

"You never go to someone's house and try to hurt them! I've been sick and Ivan's been taking care of me! If you ever try and hit him again, you'll have both of us to deal with!"

"But-! I thought he was holding you captive!"

"Who told you that?!"

"The people at your house!"

Yao sighed. "Don't you know when someone is messing with you?! Were they laughing when you walked away?"

"…Oh…Yeah, I guess they were…"

The boy was given a smack in the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"Apologize to Ivan! And for god's sake, introduce yourself!"

"Hello…I'm Im Yong Soo…I'm Korean…Sorry I tried to kick your ass…"

"Hello. I'm Ivan Braginski. I'm Russian. Sorry I kicked your ass…"

"You didn't kick my ass…" He mumbled.

"Shut up!" Yao shouted. "He knocked you out! You shouldn't be so cocky! Aiya! One day you'll be returned to me all bloodied up, and I won't even feel bad for you!"

"…But…But Yao…"

"What?!"

"…Nothing…You sure are mad today…"

Ivan was laughing to himself, finding the two of them incredibly entertaining.

Yao once again sighed and leaned back against the headboard. "…At least someone finds his funny…Yong…"

"Huh?"

"…You should go home…"

"But…I just got here…"

"…But that was to check on me, wasn't it? Well, I'm fine. I'll go back soon…Besides, you've caused enough trouble today…"

"Are-are you saying you're sick of me?" The Korean boy looked heart broken, his eyes getting bigger and water gathering near the corners of his eyes. "…Because I really wanted to see you…You hate me, don't you?"

"…No, I don't hate you…But you shouldn't just crash into someone's house…especially when you don't even know them…"

"…But-but…I thought he abducted you…and-and I just wanted you to be safe…even though…I couldn't do it…" There was an obnoxious sniff and the long sleeves of Yong's white outfit covered his face.

"Hey, don't cry!" Yao wrapped an arm around him, his face in disagreement with his words. "…You're really useful…I have an idea, why don't you go into town and pick up some groceries…you can make us breakfast, okay? That'll help me get even better…"

"Really?"

Yao nodded and Yong stopped weeping, wrapping his arms around the older man, making him look like he wanted to give up his soul.

"I'm going right now!" The Korean's arms left his brother and he ran out of the room as if someone's life depended on him getting to the market. As soon as Ivan heard the front door close, he burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

"You're terrible!"

"What?" Yao was laughing as well. "What's so terrible?"

"You sent him out just to get rid of him!"

"Well, yeah! Did you see him? He was crying! I don't want to deal with that. Aiya! I'm finally getting better and he comes in! I'm going to be sick all over again!"

Ivan was still chuckling.

"Don't you have siblings? I'm sure you've been in the same situation…"

"Of course…but they aren't like him…"

"…Well, no one is really like Yong…At least we got a free breakfast out of it…Sorry he tried to attack you…Idiot should know better…"

"Ah, it's alright…At least it was for your sake..."

When Yao left that day, he seemed to hesitate before stepping into the cold. Ivan was waiting politely by the door, his hands in front of his legs with his fingers intertwined.

"…Thanks for everything…" He said. "I really owe you one…Next time you can come to my house, if you want to…It's a little bit hectic a times…but I think you'll like it there…"

Ivan would have liked nothing more, but he didn't have the money to make such a trip…When he was opening his mouth to tell the other just that, a small bag was tossed to him. His gloves hands caught it, admiring the red fabric and golden embroidery.

"Thank you…" Yao repeated.

"When are we going?" Yong was at least ten paces in front of him, becoming somewhat impatient.

"Just wait a minute!" His attention was given to the Russian man and a smile found his face. "Aiya, these kids…I'll come visit you if you don't visit me…"

Ivan nodded. "Alright. Thank you…I'll come out in a few days…"

Yao finally turned away, his snappy Korean brother yelling at him and getting smacked almost playfully in the back of the head.

Ivan watched, a happy feeling intoxicating him. He was invited to go see Yao…His hands opened the crimson colored bag at the strings and inside was enough coins to feed him for a week. He wanted to give them back, but his friend was already too far away…


	10. Chapter 10

Ivan had his ticket in one hand and a black bag full of things in the other. He was sitting patiently in a freezing train station, another coat under the one he was normally seen in. His bottom was placed on an old wooden bench and shivers ran through him like electricity through a wire, but he was happy.

The train pulled in, and the doors opened, people trickling out with luggage and lovers. Everyone had someone to speak to, and as soon as they could they intertwined fingers and adjusted to the cold. Finally, he was able to board and stepped onto the train, his ticket being torn in half with no second thought. He was given one of the halves and put it into his pocket, planning to give it a place on his wall as well.

Ivan found himself a window seat, and almost as soon as he sat down, he was accompanied by an old woman with knitting needles and pink yarn.

"Hello." He said.

"Hello. Is this seat taken? I should have probably asked first…"

"Oh, no. It's not…"

"Ah, well it is now!" She seemed to settle in, loose muscles becoming even looser. Ivan offered her a grin and looked out the frost bitten window, excitement filling his blood.

"So, where are you going?"

"China…"

"China? That's going to be a long trip. Who are you seeing in China?"

"My friend. He asked me to visit." He turned his eyes towards her, glad to have someone to talk to.

"Ah. I'm going to see my daughter, but she doesn't live all the way in China." She humored herself with a small laugh. "She had a baby not too long ago. I haven't got to see her yet because she's too far away. I can't go there too often…"

"Oh…Do you know what her name is?"

"Yes! It's Anna! Isn't that cute?"

He nodded.

"Would you happen t have a name, young man?"

"I'm Ivan…How about you?"

"Viktorya." She answered. "Ivan is a very nice name."

"Thank you…" His cheeks flushed at her compliment.

"Ah! My goodness you're cute! Do you have a girl friend?"

He couldn't help the words from flowing from his mouth. "Why? Are you interested?"

She burst out in laughter. "Oh, if my husband heard you! No, but really!"

"No, not at the moment."

"Well that's a shame. If I was forty years younger I would be all over you…"

"The same could be said for me if I was forty years older."

Another fit of laughter. "How naughty! Perhaps I should switch seats."

"Oh, I'll behave myself. You don't have to move."

"Alright. I'll trust you." There was an amused smile on her face. "So, Mr. Ivan, do you speak any Chinese or is your friend Russian but in China?"

"I barely know any…but his is Chinese. We speak to each other in English."

"Ah. Well, that makes sense."

The two went on for a long while, exposing interesting stories and laughing occasionally. Finally, Viktorya had to leave. She stood up with her bones creaking and a newly knitted pink square in her hands.

"Ah…It was very nice talking to you Ivan. I hope you find yourself a girlfriend soon."

"Thank you. Have fun meeting Anna."

"I will!" She was walking out of the train.

And Ivan was left alone, no one else taking a spot next to him for the rest of the trip. He rested his forehead against the cool glass and fell asleep.

A letter was sent to Yao detailing the Russian's arrival as soon as he bought his ticket a week ago. He couldn't be sent into a busy Chinese train station without Mandarin in his mouth.

The entire time, he pictured his departure from the train, his dreams inhabited with several scenarios.

Ivan felt himself being shaken awake by an Asian man, speaking in Chinese. Simply, the Russian nodded and sat up, taking his things in one hand and standing in an expansive line to exit.

His feet finally fell onto snow coded concrete and he glanced around for his friend, only to find a million ink colored eyes staring at him. His face turned red, immediately wanting Yao by his side.

Unable to find the one he had come for, Ivan sat down on an old wooden bench and placed his things on top of his lap, sighing. A little girl sat next to him, staring at him a moment and asking something, having to repeat it because he didn't seem to understand.

"English?" He asked.

She examined him as if he was pinned to a piece of foam. "No. No English." Her accent was incredibly thick.

"Oh…"

"Ivan! Ivan! Is that you over there?!"

"Yao?!"

His friend was pushing his way through the crown, which was moving in the opposite direction he was. A black over coat was wrapped securely around him and his cheeks were rosy from the cold.

Yao finally reached him, and the first thing accomplished was an embrace.

"Claustrophobic yet?"

"I'm getting there…but it's nice to see you again…"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier…It's busier than it normally is…Good thing you're so easy to spot…"

The little girl was still placed on the bench and began to speak again, getting an answer back from Yao in the same dialect. They spoke for thirty seconds, Ivan still caught in a hug and unsure of what was even going on. Once she was satisfied, she sprung from the bench and left them to their embrace.

"What was she saying?"

"She wanted to know if your eyes were broken."

"What?"

"I'll tell you on the way home…Come on." Ivan's things were taken away from him and put into the Chinese man's possession. They began walking, a thousand people bumping into them before they even exited the train station.

And finally, they walked into the streets, the concentration of people seeming to lessen.

"So…Why would she think my eyes were broken?" Ivan asked. "…And I can carry that."

"Firstly, you can't carry this because I am, and secondly, she thought your eyes were broken because they're blue…A lot of people here have never seen a Russian…Which probably why everyone is staring…"

"…Oh…"

"Don't worry about it…Everyone where you live looks at me funny too. It's not so bad…You'll feel better when we get home…" A smile came across his face. "I'm so excited! I'll get to cook for you and show you around and everything!"

"I'm excited too…but please don't do too much…"

"Quiet you! You're gonna have the best damn time in your whole life and you're gonna like it!"

"…Okay…"

Yao laughed. "I'm sorry…but you're going to have fun, I promise."

After a lot of walking, they finally reached a gate with two dragon statues on both sides. Snow covered vines were growing around them, as well as the rest of the wall. It was amazing.

The gates were opened by two servants and they stepped inside.

"Well, we're here…" Yao seemed to be giddy. "What do you want to do first?"

"…Sit down…"

"Aiya! Sit down?"

Ivan nodded.

"…Fair enough…It's been a long trip…but after that what do you want to do?"

"Sleep…"

"Aiya! Pick something fun!" Yao hit him playfully across the shoulder.

"Well, I don't know…What is there to do?"

"…We could always go into town…There's a lot of shops…Or we could see a show…"

"…None of those things…" Ivan said.

"Why not?"

"…Because…they cost money…"

"I have that covered!"

"Exactly…I don't want you to waste your money on me…"

"Don't worry about that! The only thing you have to worry about is if you're bored or not…alright? And if you do get bored you can come and tell me and I'll make sure you're not bored…"

"…Okay…" Ivan gave up, knowing there was no arguing with Yao.

They were standing before two large double doors, the handles golden and looked as if they were made years upon years ago. Yao pushed one of them open, giving a smile to Ivan and then letting him step inside.

The first room he was exposed to was large and had a staircase at the right wall. There were lovely paintings hanging everywhere and a few statues in different corners. Two women were standing before them, both pretty and thin. They said something or other and bowed, hobbling off on bound feet.

"…So, do you like it?" Yao asked.

"…Yes…" Ivan was a bit dazed and for a moment felt inadequate. His house was barely the size of this room, and the things in it could buy him an even bigger estate…

"…You're alright, aren't you? Oh…you wanted to sit down…" A table was waiting in the center of the room, two seats patient for an occupant. "You can have one right over there…I'll join you in a moment…"

Yao went off to speak with his two servant women and Ivan took a seat by the table's edge, feeling a bit misplaced. Everything in this home was so…Chinese…and he clearly wasn't. He began to feel hot under his many layers, peeling them off to reveal a shirt and vest. That day, Ivan looked particularly sharp.

Finally, Yao came back and took the seat across from him, his coat hanging from his forearm. He was dressed in black himself and seemed entirely different.

"…You look nice." The Chinese man said to Ivan and smiled. "…You should wear coats less…I like your clothes…"

"Oh, thank you…" Red inhabited his cheeks and he smiled. "I like what you're wearing too…"

"Bah. This old thing?" There was a slight pause. "…So, how was your trip here?"

"…Well, an old woman was hitting on me on the train. She was a grandmother too…" His grin seemed to expand. "…But she was nice…"

"Really?" Yao was laughing. "Did she take her teeth out to kiss you?"

"God no!"

"With that look on your face, it seems like you got to know her pretty well…Sorry." He laughed. "Well, how was everything else?"

"…Everything else was pretty normal…"

A tea kettle and two cups was set on the table before them, and the woman went away, talking with another servant, long sleeves covering their faces.

"Aiya!" Yao scolded them in his own language and gave his eyes back to Ivan. "…Sorry…" Tea filled his cup and drank it without second thoughts.

"…What happened?"

"Don't worry about it." Yao waved a long sleeve as if dismissing something unpleasant and offered him a little grin.

"…Oh, well alright." He had an idea of what they were speaking about. What an odd man he was…especially somewhere like this where everyone had black hair and dark eyes.

The two chatted for an expansive amount of time, and by the end of their conversation, Ivan only wanted sleep.

"…You look tired…I'm sorry…Am I boring you?"

"No, not at all…I'm just exhausted…" Another yawn escaped his lips and a few tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. He wiped them away with a clean white sleeve and looked back to his friend.

"…Well…Do you want to eat? I was going to make dinner, but if you're tired I can always do that later…You can go sleep…"

"That would be very nice…"

Yao nodded. "I'll show you were your room is…"

Ivan was led up the stairs, which had scrolls decorating the walls. They all said something or other, but all Ivan's eyes could see were confusing brush strokes. What a complex system…

They stopped outside of a door in a hallway with only rooms. The porthole was opened and Yao was the first to step in.

"…Wow…"

It was quite a nice place. The walls were decorated with scrolls and a window was open to over look the garden on the bottom floor. The bed was a descent size, and there was even a desk on the other side of the room. It looked as if this place was a normal bedroom, but no one had inhabited it yet.

"You like it, right?"

Ivan nodded and placed his things by the door. "Thank you…" He wanted to apologize for not having a guest room in his house. "…Where are you going to sleep?"

"Down the hall…" Yao said. "…I'll show you my room tomorrow…Actually; I'll give you a descent tour tomorrow…" He sighed. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay." He yawned. "I like talking to you, so it's not like you deprived me of anything…"

Yao smiled. "Alright…I'll leave you alone…Come wake me up if you get hungry…"

"I'm not going to wake you up…"

"…We can argue about this later. Good night." He grinned and left Ivan to his temporary room, the door shutting softly behind him.

The Russian sighed, his body flopping gratefully onto the bed. It was so warm here…He felt more excitement than when he was on the train. Part of him couldn't even believe he was where he was…It could have been another dream…He had been here so many times in his head…

Before he could think about anything more, his eyes closed and he was taken hostage by sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

The first thing Ivan's eyes caught was a blurry looking figure dressed in bright red. He was standing before his bed, hands held strictly at his sides.

"…Yao…?"

The Russian man sat up and wiped his eyes. It became obvious that the boy wasn't his friend, even though his features were very close. Ivan guessed it was another one of his brothers.

"Do you speak English?"

"Yes." The boy replied with almost no accent, shocking the man sitting across from him.

"…Excuse me?"

"I speak English…" He repeated with clean words.

"…Oh…well…What's your name?"

"I'm Hong Kong…and you're Russia, aren't you?"

Ivan nodded, leaving the two to stare at each other a moment. The blond wanted to ask what he was doing here, thinking it odd just to watch someone in their sleep, but didn't say anything.

"Ivan? Are you-" Yao approached the open door, his eyes focusing on the boy in red as soon as he saw him. His bottom lips dropped slightly, captivation locked in his eyes. "It's you…It's you! Look at you!" Tears welled, spilling over onto his cheeks in streams. The next words that came from his mouth were in soft Cantonese and he came closer to Hong Kong, who didn't have much of an expression, but had his eyes bright with forming droplets.

The boy returned his words in the same language and they embraced, salty water marring both of their faces.

And again, Ivan felt out of place. He wanted to leave the room but was nearly chained in place for fear of ruining their reunion. The Russian couldn't even move his cramped up legs, as if he was coded in concrete.

They spoke for nearly a minute before stopping and finally, Yao turned his attention to the first guest.

"I'm sorry. Do you want something to eat…?" He was still banishing water from his eyes, only to have them caught in a long red sleeve.

"Yes, please…"

While breakfast was prepared, Hong Kong and Ivan sat across from one another in the dining room, both mouths sewn shut. The Russian was picking at his fingers, unsure of what to say. Part of him was relieved that he wasn't being stared at and that someone else around here could speak English, but still…he was put in the center of a reunion he wasn't a part of.

Yao's head poked his head out of the kitchen. "It's almost ready…"

"Thank you…" Ivan replied.

A few moments of silence past.

"So…Are you going to live here now?"

"…No. Arthur is letting me visit because he's busy…but he's going to pick me up later tonight…"

"…Oh…Is this the first time you've seen Yao after…?" Ivan didn't even want to continue.

"No. Once…when I was young…"

The Russian nodded, knowing he was probably stabbing at a raw nerve. He didn't say anymore, although there were many things he wanted to ask. He wondered what life under someone else was like. How was he treated? He didn't look to be beaten, but then again, it's possible to hide scars.

Finally, a large bowl of congee was set in the middle of the table, bits of chicken and mushrooms drifting through out the rice inside.

At first, Ivan wasn't sure what it was. It resembled oat meal…but it clearly wasn't.

"What?" Yao looked like he was about to start laughing. "…Why do you look so nervous? Your food is crazier than this…"

The Russian wasn't sure what to say for himself. "…It is?"

"It's like…like…" The word was escaping him.

"Porridge." Hong Kong said, his lips slightly shaping into a frown.

"…Poor kid…having to eat that nasty shit for so long…but yes. It's like porridge."

"Oh…okay…"

A bowl was given to each of them along with a certain kind of spoon.

"Thank you…" Ivan said, his eyes drawn to the inside of his dish. Looking at it a little closer, it didn't seem so insane. He dipped his utensil inside and put it to his lips, seeming to like the taste. It was different from what he was used to, but there were no complaints.

Hong Kong looked satisfied as well. It had probably been an extensive amount of time since he had eaten anything from his old culture.

"Well, how is it?" Yao asked.

"Good." The both of them replied.

Breakfast passed by with Yao and Hong Kong catching up all while Ivan ate silently. He listened, feeling a bit dejected no one was speaking to him. But how could he expect them to? They hadn't seen each other ever since Hong Kong was a child…There was a lot to talk about.

Finally, Yao addressed both of them. "Would the two of you like to do anything? We can go into town…How much time do you have?" He was asking Hong Kong.

"…I'll be leaving a little later this evening."

"What?! That greedy bastard won't even let you stay a few days?! He gets you for years on end and your own brother can't even see you for twenty-four hours?!"

"…I'm sorry…I had to beg him for this much…"

For a moment, Ivan wished he didn't even have that.

"…Well…alright. I guess we'll just have to do what we can…"

Eventually, it was decided that they would go into town, and did after a bit if hassle. Ivan followed behind them most the trip, unsure of where he was going. Of course, Hong Kong didn't know where he was either, but it was obvious he was much more of a priority.

They were out most of the day, and when they returned night was descending. Ivan caught himself feeling somewhat depressed. The entire time, he wanted nothing more than to talk to Yao…but his company was replaced by another, and he was back to keeping completely silent and listening as others laughed. He was promised a good time, but at this point, he would be happier in front of his own television in his own freezing cold house with his own worn couch…All of his sighs went unnoticed.

They returned to the house, and when they reached the front gate, Arthur was waiting there, picking at his lips. He looked like he was frozen over and had his eye brows knitted together, his eyes directed to his feet.

"…Oh…Arthur…" Hong Kong sounded somewhat surprised, as if he thought his keeper was going to forget to claim him back.

"Hey!" Yao shouted. "What's your problem?"

Ivan felt himself expel a large breath of air, knowing this wasn't going to end well, but again he went unnoted.

"What do you mean, what's my problem?"

"I haven't seen my brother in years and you only let him come out for a few hours! Don't you think that's a little unfair?! I'm not going to hold him hostage or something! I don't see what would be the big deal! I haven't seen him since he was this tall!" Yao held his hand at his waist to represent Hong Kong's old height. "What are a few days to you?!"

The Englishman sighed, brows furrowing even more. "We're going now…" He glanced to his subordinate, who looked slightly shaken. "Did you bring anything else with you?"

"No sir…"

"Don't ignore me! I want an explanation!"

"You gave him to me…Happy?"

Yao was shaking, his fists clenching into tight balls.

"You should be grateful I even let you see him at all…" Again, he looked to the younger one. "…Come on…We're going."

Arthur walked away, expecting Hong Kong to follow, but was stopped.

"Wait! …Can I please say good bye?"

"Make it quick…"

Yao was enraged but was still embraced by his brother, who had a few tears forming in his eyes. Again, his face was completely serine, but there was much emotion there. He said something to him in Cantonese, and Yao wrapped his arms tightly around him, as if this would really be the last time he would see him, which was very possible.

Finally, the two let go, and the younger brother joined Arthur's side, leaving. Yao simply watched, his heart finding its way into his throat and hot tears falling into the snow. Without even acknowledging Ivan, he turned and ran into his home, disappearing behind two large doors.

The Russian followed, suddenly feeling like the greediest man on earth. He curbed his jealously and depression and went in after him, only to find his friend curled against the wall, sobbing into his knees.

"Yao…"

There wasn't a response, only more shallow breaths. Loss was seeping onto the floor, and Yao seemed to run further away from control.

Simply, Ivan got onto his knees, taking the crying man into his arms. The sobs grew a little more audible.

Yao shouted something in Mandarin, his fists beating against Ivan's chest. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone or just wanted something to hit, but either way, he stayed. Finally, his hands stopped, arms finding their way around his friend's body.

"I'm sorry…" He said.

"It's alright…I can handle it…Knock the shit out of me if it'll make you feel better…"

Yao's face settled next to Ivan's as he became calmer. His arms seemed to become a little slacker and his eyes shut tightly, tears still bleeding from his eyes.

"I'm sorry…" He repeated.

"It's alright…" An open palm ran against his back as if he was a small child, but he didn't mind. He allowed it, latching onto the Russian man as if he was the only keeping him from his death.

"Ivan…" His voice was shaking.

"Yes?"

"You're a really good friend…I'm sorry…"

"You don't have to apologize…" Yao's body was held onto a little more tightly by the other party and all Ivan wanted to do was kiss him. Of course, he held back, knowing there would be no getting away with it. Now was a bad time to pull anything.

And Yao continued to weep, of course, getting a little quieter, and Ivan held his position, having absolutely no intentions of letting go. They were intertwined as if they sculpted there, and after what seemed to be an eternity, Yao let go. His black eyes stared at Ivan, and he stood, wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks. His face was reddened, and the Russian was surprised he could even look so battered.

"…Thank you…" He said. "…I'm sorry I hit you…"

"It's alright…Really…It didn't hurt…"

Yao nodded. "I'm going to bed…I'll see you in the morning…"

"…Goodnight…"

And Yao walked away, Ivan opened his mouth. "…If you need to talk to someone…you can come wake me up…I'll listen…"

"Thank you…"


	12. Chapter 12

As Ivan dressed, his thoughts drifted to last night's incidents, wondering if Yao was alright. His face was burned into his mind, eyes so full of pain…The events last night played over and over again…It seemed like it was still happening.

Quickly, he made his way downstairs to see a man waiting for him dressed in crimson material with golden embroidery, wearing a sleepless face.

"Yao…"

The Chinese man was holding in his lips with reddened eyes. "Ivan…" He stepped a little closer and took the Russian into an embrace, his face burying itself in a soft black shirt. "I'm sorry…"

"Yao…For the hundredth time, it's alright. It's really, really alright…You don't have to worry so much about me…"

He was quiet a moment. "I know…but I feel awful…because I'm the worst friend in the world…" There was a silence. "I'm sorry about yesterday…Every time we see each other I feel like I owe you more and more…I shouldn't have ignored you…I'm so sorry I did…but…You weren't angry with me…You weren't even upset when I hit you…and if we were in opposite positions I probably would have punched you back…" His voice was quivering.

"Yao…"

"…You keep saying it's okay…but it's not…You're supposed to be having a nice time, but it seems like it's been the worst…And you've done so much for me…" He was beginning to cry. "I'm not sure why you're so kind, but thank you….I was stupid to ignore you for so long…If you wanted you could punch me in the mouth and I would still owe you my life…"

"Stop…" Ivan was close to tears himself. "You don't owe me anything…"

It was at that point the Russian wanted to scream out his feelings as loud as he possibly could. He loved him. Yes. He loved him more than anyone else in the entire world. But his lips were bound by possible rejection, so they spilled out in Russian.

"I love you…" He said, knowing Yao wouldn't understand. His voice was so soft and almost faded into a whisper, but he continued, admirations spilling out like blood from a wound. He loved him from his ink colored eyes to the toes on his feet…When he finally stopped, water was falling from his eyes and lingering on his pale cheeks.

"Ivan…Why are you crying?" Yao wiped his eyes and then dabbed Ivan's. "That's supposed to be my job…"

"It's nothing…"

"What did you say just now…?" Yao was speaking quietly, trying not to rip the information from him.

"Nothing…Don't worry about it."

"…Okay…Let's get something to eat…"

"Alright…"

Ivan was glad Yao didn't pry, because there was no possibility of him repeating it in English…

The two ate congee again that morning. Occasionally they would smile to one another, the Russian feeling better and worse at the same rate…He was joyous to finally express his emotions, but dejected because Yao didn't understand a word of what he said…Perhaps it was a good thing. He might not feel the same.

But…

Whenever they saw each other, they would embrace for minutes at a time…They slept in the same bed together whenever they were at Ivan's house…They laughed together…and even cried…

…And that look in his eyes…

No, no. there's no way anyone would love Ivan. He was far too frightening. He only had one friend...which didn't even want to be his acquaintance in the first place…

But…even if that was true, he was here now…and the past didn't really matter…did it?

The Russian thought circles around himself, finally making his stomach writhe. It all came down to the desire to tell him…but he was so afraid of rejection…Rejection had been a part of his every day…And now, things had gotten so much better…and if he ruined it…Just the thought of losing Yao as a friend made him want to cry…And even if they weren't lovers, they would at least still see one another…

But there could be so much more…

The scenarios ran through his mind, the worst possible option the strongest…As soon as he told him, Yao would never what to see him again and that would be the end.

And there was always the other…but that seemed virtually impossible…

"…Ivan why do you look so upset? Are you okay?"

"…Oh…yes…I'm fine…"

"Well…alright…Is there anything I can do?" He didn't believe that for a moment.

"…No…Not really…"

"…Oh…" Yao looked at the remaining scraps left in his bowl. "…Do you want to do anything today?"

"…I don't know…" Ivan answered. "…Do you have something in mind?"

"…Well, not really…" He gave him a weak smile, feeling even worse for neglecting him the day before.

"…Will you do me a favor?" The blond asked after a few seconds.

"Sure…What is it?"

"…Will you let your hair down?"

"…What?" Yao was surprised at such an odd request.

"…Is it too much to ask?" The Russian felt as if he had made a dire mistake.

"No…I was just surprised you asked for something like that…" The red fabric holding his hair back was pulled away, an ocean of black framing his face. The stands ended a little past his shoulders and he brushed trough it with a few fingers. Yao focused on Ivan, who looked like he was about to lose consciousness. "Well, this is what you wanted, wasn't it?"

The Russian nodded. "Yes."

Finally, the two decided to simply take a walk, their bodies side by side this time. Yao left his hair to hang, and all Ivan could do was stare, wanting to touch it with a few fingers, but knowing it was out of the question.

"…You like sunflowers, don't you?" Yao asked as they were getting closer to the house. Their walk was almost over.

"Yes…I do…Why?"

"…I was just wondering…"

"Okay…"

The rest of the day was spent in quiet admiration, both parties stealing glances at one another. They spoke, happy to be in each other's company. Yesterday was too depressing to hold onto.

Before they climbed the stares to go to bed, they stood there, both wanting to say something, but unsure of what words to use. Yao looked to Ivan, getting an idea.

The Chinese man made his way towards the Russian and took his hand gently, opening it into a bowl shape, and leaving it there to linger a moment. He placed a large lock of his hair into his palm, and immediately, Ivan pulled his hand away, blood rushing into his face.

Without words, Yao took his hand again and this time wrapped it around the same strands.

"…It's alright…You've been looking at it all day…You can touch it…I don't mind…"

Ivan began to feel nervous, but gently, he slid his fingers past Yao's hair. It was incredibly soft and obviously well taken care of. His fingers lingered a moment before letting it go, and finally, it was allowed back to swing against Yao's collar bone.

They looked at each other a moment, Ivan's heart beating as if it were trying to escape the prison of his chest.

"…Good night…" Yao said, his heart racing a bit as well, but he didn't let it show.

"Good night…Thank you…"

The Russian was left at the bottom of the stairs, the feeling of smooth hair stuck to his finger tips. He looked at his hand, believing that the entire thing was simply a delusion.


	13. Chapter 13

Yao was up early the morning if Ivan's departure, dressing himself in the mirror and quietly exiting his room. He crept past the Russian's door knowing he was still fast asleep. Clutched safely in his palm was a small satchel of coins. And silently, he made his way to the front doors of his home.

"Sir…May I ask where you're going?" One of the maids was up sweeping, as she usually did at that time of the day. Her voice was hushed in fear of ruining his plan, whatever that may be.

"Out…I'm going to buy sunflower seeds for Ivan. He likes them…I figured I would get him a parting gift…" The man was slipping on his coat, preparing to face the morning air.

"Oh, I see…Will he be coming again sometime soon?"

"Why?" A smile worked its way onto Yao's face. "Do you like him?"

"Well…Maybe I would if I could understand what he was saying…But he's quite handsome."

His grin spread a little further. "You probably would…He's a nice guy." The time popped into his head. "Oh-! I have to leave!"

"Good bye. I hope everything goes well."

"Thank you."

Yao hurried into the market as if he was a young boy again. For whatever reason, excitement was flowing through him like blood and he felt as if he was on some sort of mission given to him by someone very important.

He reached his destination, stepping in quickly and going straight to the back where the seeds were kept. They were lined up on a single shelf, all organized and not one out of place. Easily, he picked out a small bag that said 'sunflowers' and brought it to the front, slapping money onto the table, which looked beaten enough already.

"Oh…hello…" The old man working there looked nervous a moment, but proceeded to count the coins placed before him. The entire time, Yao watched becoming somewhat impatient. He didn't want to come home to find his friend awake.

The bag was given to him and the man behind the counter nodded, receiving a bobble of the head in return.

Yao rushed back to the front gates, opening them and entering. As soon as his feet were inside the confines of his home, he was once again at a lack of noise, removing his shoes and coat and putting them in their correct places. The entire house was engulfed in silence, as if everyone was told of what he was doing. And again, he made his way upstairs, a few floor boards creaking under his careful toes.

Gently, the door to Ivan's room was opened and there was his incapacitated friend, face buried deep into a pillow. He was snoring softly and Yao couldn't help but smile. Slowly, he crept his way in, his other hand taking custody of the seeds and placing them on top of the other pillow.

For a moment, Yao watched him, his cheeks turning bright…He was…cute…Really cute…Part of him wanted to take the unoccupied space but he left without a sound, closing the door behind him.

Ivan opened his eyes a few minutes later to a little brown bag lying on the opposite side of the bed. Something was written in the center of the paper but he couldn't read it. He took it into his hands, fingers examining the bottom half, feeling…seeds…Were these seeds?

Ivan smiled, wanting to laugh. His mind flashed over to the drawer he had full of them. He hoped they weren't meant to grow sunflowers…Yao would have wasted his money…

The Russian came down stairs after dressing, the gift in his gloved hand. He was smiling, looking at Yao who was waiting for him at the stair's feet.

"…Are these Sunflower seeds?" He asked.

"Yes…Why are you smiling like that?" Yao asked.

"Nothing…" He sucked in his lips to keep from laughing.

"Come on…Don't tell me I messed it up…"

"You didn't mess anything up…Thank you."

"Ivan, you're a terrible liar...What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything. Really..."

"Ivan…" Yao's tone was scolding. "Ivan." One of his eye brows dropped and his lips scrunched together.

"What?"

"…Come on!"

"Come on with what?"

"You know what!"

"I think you know better than I do…" Ivan was grinning, playing with him at this point.

"Aiya! You're so annoying! Stop it! Tell me what you're smiling about!" One of his feet stamped to the floor.

The Russian began to laugh, hands covering his lips. "I'm sorry…Please don't be so mad…"

"I wouldn't be mad if you'd quit pissing me off!"

The laughter grew louder, and Ivan's mouth closed, trying to smoother the sounds escaping it. "…Don't look at me that way…You're making it worse…"

The Chinese man gave up with a long sigh. "…Alright…You win. Don't tell me…"

"How about I show you instead?" He was calming down. "The next time you come over, I'll show you."

"Show me?" Another lengthily expanse of air came from his lungs. "…Alright…Whatever you want…"

Ivan came up a little closer, wrapping his arms around Yao, trying not to make any more noise. "Thank you…"

"Don't even touch me right now!" A palm smacked him playfully in the chest, forcing a few chuckles to expose themselves.

"I'm sorry…" His voice was at a plethora of repressed laughs.

"…Aiya…I can't even be mad at you…" Yao used Ivan as a pillow, embracing him as the anger fled his body. "What's your problem? I get you a present and you're just laughing at me the whole time…You're so mean…"

"...I'm sorry…It'll all make sense when you come see me again…I promise."

"You better be telling the truth…I'll explode…"

"I know…"

At twelve, they walked to the train station, Ivan's ticket secure in his hand. To avoid any problems, he purchased it a few days before the day he would leave. The two sat next to one another on a free bench near the area his train would pull in. Both of them felt a bit sad, not wanting to be apart for another set of weeks.

"So…I know things kind of started out not too great…but you had fun, didn't you?" Yao asked with his hands politely in his lap.

"Of course…You didn't know your little brother would be coming in…It's really no big deal…"

"…Thanks…" The smaller of the two said, watching swarms of people drift by. "…Would you want to come back again?"

"Yes!" Ivan tried to hide his enthusiasm, masking only a fraction of it. "…But…I don't have much money left…I mean…not enough to come out again anytime soon…but I really would…"

"It's okay…I'm fine with visiting you…It doesn't really mater does it?" Yao's face was becoming a bit pink. Even Ivan caught it.

"…No. It doesn't…"

Minutes later, the train rolled in and something was shouted to all of them in Mandarin. The Russian seemed to be confused a moment.

"…That's you…" The Chinese man said, standing up with him. "…I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay…"

They embraced a moment and Ivan climbed up the steps and chose another window seat, this one enabling him to look at Yao. He smiled, waving.

Soon, the door closed and the only one left outside was his friend. As the train began to move, they waved a final time to one another. Ivan's heart beat began to rise again, because he only wanted him to know his feelings…And he felt as if he had missed an opportunity.

Yes. He would have to tell him…but next time…


	14. Chapter 14

Ivan came home with a brown bag half full of groceries. It was all he could afford since his visit with Yao. He had used the money his friend had given him to buy his ticket, but had to use some of his own because it wasn't quite enough.

He returned home, putting them away. How sad it was…they barely filled one shelf. Hunger kicked him mercilessly in the stomach. Ivan sighed, reaching for a bottle of vodka, pulling away the cork and taking a healthy swig.

With the neck of the bottle in his hand, he moved to his room and sat on his bed, facing the wall that had his memories. Morning light filled up the room and made the papers hanging illuminate. Again, the glass met his lips and alcohol drained into his mouth.

Since he didn't have a use for the seeds Yao had given him, he should put them there…It looked boring with only paper anyway…

The bottle was set down on his night stand along with the gift and a few tacks. The bag was unopened, and was almost completely untouched. The paper hadn't even crinkled yet because Ivan took care not to harm it.

Ivan removed the ticket stub from his pocket and put it with the things sitting on the old wood. He stood, collecting the things about to be added in his hands and walked to the white surface, placing the bag of seeds against an empty space first. The tack's business end stabbed through it, securing it in place. The next thing to go up was the ticket stub. It was placed directly next to the newest addition, a blue pin holding this one in its new home.

The Russian man stood there a moment, looking over his entire collection, his mouth parting a bit and his fingers picking gently at his lip. A bit of flesh was torn from them and dropped to the floor. He blinked, going back to his bed and depleting more of his vodka.

And again, a sigh, but this was more out of longing.

Whenever Yao was away, he tended to feel a little lonely, which seemed perfectly logical. He was shut up in his home all day with no one to speak to…

And with out a distraction, he worried.

He had every intention of telling his friend of his feelings for him. Even if he feared rejection, he felt that if he didn't tell him, things would simply become worse until he lost his sanity…

Ivan drank down a little more alcohol, the bottle becoming light in his fingers.

He had never felt worse in his life.

Part of what made it difficult was the fact that all of his visits were unannounced. He would just show up. It could have been a little better than actually knowing when he was going to arrive, because if he did know the date he might become even more of a wreck. But wondering if he was going to show up that day or a month from tomorrow made him anxious as well.

By the end of that week, Ivan hadn't eaten much and didn't seem to be in good health. He had made up for food in vodka and would occasionally shake. Of course, he didn't think it was good for him. He knew he wasn't in any decent shape…but there wasn't much he could do. Without any money left, there would be no food, and without food, there wasn't a fix.

Finally, he sat on the couch without alcohol or nourishment. His eyes were half open and his thoughts were clouded with Yao. What if he came…he would scold him because there wasn't anything to eat.

He worried too much…

And Ivan's mind drifted off to the drawer full of seeds, wishing he could show him…he wished he was there…but wishing couldn't do much of anything.

Finally, the blond man's eyes shut to a world of dreams and a Chinese man in a field of sunflowers. He wore such a warm smile…and for once in that entire week, all of Ivan's anxiety was gone. He was happy…


	15. Chapter 15

Ivan woke up to the sound of someone sobbing. There was a bright light above him, and it hurt even before his eyes were opened. He felt someone else's hand within his.

"Yao?"

"Ivan? Are you okay?"

Finally, blue eyes were given to the room and flickered because of the burning light. He was in a hospital.

"What am I doing here?!" He shot up, his head instantly filling with pain. A palm rushed to aid his forehead, eyes shutting tightly. "…Ah…"

"You passed out…" Yao wiped his eyes and sniffed. "…I came to see you and no matter what I did you wouldn't wake up…I was so worried you slipped into a comma or something…" His long red sleeve brushed past tear drenched eyes. "…Thank god you're alright…"

"Well…I don't know about all that…" Ivan managed to smile, making his companion smile back, a few more tears slipping onto his cheek.

"Don't even kid…That's not funny…" The droplets were taken away almost as soon as they came. "I was really worried…"

"I know…"

"Do you even know how hard it was to get in here? They were all speaking in Russian and everything…"

"I know…Thank you…"

The door swung open and a doctor came in, papers in hand and a pen.

"Oh…You're awake, Mr. Braginski…" He said in Russian, surprise spread all over his face. "…How do you feel?"

"…I'm…alright…I've been better…"

"Well, I'd certainly hope so…"

They conversed a few moments, the doctor analyzing the situation with occasional nods and questions. After a while, their words stopped, both of them seeming to think. Yao simply looked lost.

"…Well, it seems you're ready to go, but you should really eat a little more than you were…and lay off the vodka." Ivan's heart broke. "I would still suggest getting plenty of rest...But if you can do both of those things, you won't have to come back for a while…"

"Thank you…"

"Alright…You're free to go. If you feel that you need to stay, then stay…"

The one in bed nodded and they were left alone to talk with one another.

"…So…what happened?" Yao asked, eyebrows furrowed together in complete confusion.

"…He said I should eat more…and stop drinking vodka…"

"Aiya! Is that why you passed out? You have to eat…Food is good for you…"

"…I know…"

Instead of constructing a reply, Yao wrapped his arms around Ivan as best he could, their heads settling next to each other's. It was one of the most affectionate embraces they had yet. Gently, Ivan took Yao's torso and held him even closer, mixing in as much passion as he could.

The Russian wanted to say it, but he couldn't…

"Are you ready to go home?" Yao asked. "It's getting kind of late, but we can stay…"

"…Yes…I'm ready to go…" One of his hands gently graced the other's back, and they seemed to blend together even more.

"Okay…"

Yao was first to have his feet press to the floor, and was followed by Ivan. The two left together, walking into the snow with identical coats. It was especially cold out, but luckily it wasn't snowing. The world was completely still.

"…Is it too late to go get groceries?" Yao asked.

"I don't think so…but we don't have to go right now…and please don't buy me anything…"

"…Ivan…" The smaller of the two expelled a sigh. "…You know I'm going to…You might as well just let me…"

"…Alright…" Again, he was finding it impossible to win with this man.

Before returning home, they had two bags of groceries, each person responsible for one. The two looked at each, every glance fleeting.

The front door was opened and the first in was Yao, who put his food on the ground and wrapped his arms around Ivan before he could enter.

"…You're going to get something to eat…and we're going to get warm in front of the fire…and then you're going to tell me what was so funny…Does that sounds good?"

"…Yes…It does…" The Russian gave up his free arm to Yao, and after putting their groceries away, they positioned themselves in front of the fire place, sitting next to one another. There was a loaf of bread in Ivan's hands, which was already being depleted.

"…It's been a long day…" Yao pointed out. "…But it's good you're alright…I would have lost my mind if you weren't…"

Ivan smiled through a series of chews, unsure of what to say.

They were quiet a long while, the only sounds occupying the room being the crackle of the fire and the working of the Russian's teeth, and finally, even that faded, leaving only the light to speak.

But through all of that, Ivan's mind was running around in nervous circles, trying so desperately to make himself talk. Words refused to leak out. His lips were nearly sealed shut with the secret that lurked inside. He bit the side of his mouth, feeling even more nervous as the seconds past.

"…Ivan…" Yao was the first to speak.

"…Yes?"

"…I love you…"

Even the crackling of the fire stopped, the whole world freezing over and time becoming frigid with it.

"…When you were unconscious…there was a lot that went through my head…and…if you weren't around…I'm really not sure how I would go on…"

More silence.

"…I understand if you don't feel the same…but it's true…I love you…" He repeated. "I'd be a wreck if you weren't alive…and if you don't want to see me after this…that's okay too…I just want you to be happy…"

Ivan was still in deep shock. He couldn't even believe it…Was this really occurring?

"Please say something…"

Instead of replying with words, the Russian pressed his lips softly against Yao's, taking his body into a deep embrace and falling over on top of him. He made sure not to crush him against the floor.

The Chinese man's fingers brushed through Ivan's soft straw hair and their kiss became a bit deeper. They became a bit closer, arms wrapping around each other and tongues intertwining.

And finally, they stopped, eyes locking.

"I love you too…"

"…Really?" Yao asked.

"Mmm-hmm." Ivan answered, their lips brushing against each other's once again. "I've been trying so hard to tell you that I did…"

The Chinese man smiled and kissed his cheek, both of them joy filled.

And for the longest time, they remained on their sides, holding each other captive. Neither of them had words to speak. And why would they? They were happy.

"…Yao…Do you still want to see what I was going to show you?"

"Aiya…I don't even care anymore…" Ivan was given his lips a moment.

"Alright…" And Yao was kissed in return.


End file.
